11 weeks

Today, at around 4:00p at work, I had quite a scare.  I spotted.  I was terrified!  I held it together until I got in my car and just bawled.  I made it home, but Dave was out shopping and picking up food for our conversational dinner this Saturday so I didn't have to do it.  I cried and cried and have never been such an emotional wreck and so scared.  He made it home and I told him, and we both were extremely upset.  He wanted me to go to the ER and have an ultrasound, but I thought I should wait to see if I spotted more and if I did, to wait until it was red.  I was terribly sick that night and that scared me even more.  Dave was so supportive and assured me that at our ultrasound on Monday, we would see our baby and hear jellybean's heartbeat, and everything would be okay.  Regardless, God will be with us.  He feels that after this ultrasound, he will know that our baby will be okay.  It will be a weight off his shoulders and can finally be excited instead of worried.  I know God is in charge-- and I do want Christ more than anything, but I really want this child too.